It's time to finish with the sheep, let's move on to funny videos with goats. Jokes about sheep and rams, goats and goats Jokes about sheep and rams, goats and goats

Jokes about sheep and rams, goats and goats

* * *
If a person encounters solid Goats and Sheep throughout his life, most likely he is just a Ram himself!!!

* * *
“I took my daughter to the village and showed her the goat.”
- For what?
- Well, so that she knows what a real goat he is! Otherwise, she only imagines him from her mother’s words...

* * *
A steep-horned ram with a bell walks ahead of the herd. The sheep are confident that he knows where he is leading them. And the ram just wants to be in front - not dusty and a good choice herbs!

* * *
Seven kids beat a wolf with their hooves. He yells:
- What are you doing, wolves?!
- Shut up, asshole!

* * *
Every stupid sheep dreams of his... eternal...

* * *
- What does the proverb “And the wolves are fed, and the sheep are safe” mean?
- This means that the wolves ate the shepherd and the dog.

* * *
A 3-year-old girl, after listening to the fairy tale “The Wolf and the Seven Little Goats,” asked:
-Where was daddy the goat?
And really where?!

* * *
The Wolf came to the goat's house and sang:
- Little kids, kids, open up, open up, your mother has come and brought milk!
- What are you driving, you goat? She went out for beer!

* * *
Conversation in the village of two neighbors:
- Why is your goat hornless?
- And our goat is honest!

* * *
The sheep in the backyard of the kebab shop overheard the order and, if anything happened, hid in the pigsty.

* * *
- Opanas, yesterday Petro went hunting - he shot a sheep instead of a hare.
- Why should we be surprised, he only got bad marks in zoology at school!

* * *
Since childhood, I dreamed of seeing three animals: Sidorov’s goat, Yoshi’s cat and the fly plaque.

* * *
The field is not measured, the sheep are not counted, the shepherd is horned...
- Damn, what is he doing out in the pasture? And why did you leave your wife at home?!

* * *
- Listen, Abram! If you let your goat out into the street again, I will kill him!
- What's the matter, Chaim? Why is he bothering you?
- He runs under my windows all the time and shouts:
- KGB-e! KGB-e!

* * *
- From a black sheep - even a tuft of wool! - the wife said every time
honest cop, lighting a gas stove with a stun gun.

* * *
- Do you know that it takes three sheep to knit a sweater?
- Yes? And my wife did it alone!

* * *
- Goat, why are your eyes so sad?
- Because my husband is a goat.

* * *
One friend complains to another:
- I'm tired of this progress! Synthetic seasonings, artificial flavors, soy meat! It's impossible to eat! Yesterday he came to the kebab shop and forced me to slaughter and roast a sheep...
- Well? - It turned out to be cloned!!!

* * *
The new Russian is walking a goat, a policeman comes up to him and says:
- Don’t you know that you can’t walk pets in the city???
The New Russian answers:
- There are pigeons flying around too, shitting everywhere and nothing!
The policeman, hesitating a little, says:
- You understand, a dove is a symbol of peace!
New Russian:
- I’m responsible for the market, my little goat doesn’t want war either!

* * *
- How do sheep differ from each other?
- Smart sheep are sheared, stupid ones are slaughtered.

* * *
An Australian farmer bought a Rolls-Royce for crazy money.
- Well, how's the car? - They ask him.
“Great,” he replies. - Especially the glass that separates me from the cabin at the back.
- Well, what's special about that?
- Don’t tell me, now the sheep don’t interfere with my driving.

* * *
- What do you do when you can’t sleep?
- I count sheep...
- Ha! and I'm ex-girlfriends!
- That's what I meant.

* * *
A hare walks through the forest and sees a sheep crying.
- Who hurt you? Yes, I’ll tear his jaws apart now!
- The wolf is fighting!
- A-a-a-a, a wolf... Well, our little gray one will not offend in vain.

* * *
You’re lucky to have me,” says the wolf to the trembling sheep. - Just imagine,
what would have happened to you if you had been caught not by me, but by our entire flock!..

New Year's toast against Kozlov

Friends!
New Year 2015 is coming, the year of the goat according to the eastern calendar.
East is a delicate matter. Eastern goats may be cut from a different cloth and deserve to hang on the honor roll, but our goats are goats!
First of all, they smell bad and look bad. Secondly, goats are not kind. Personalities such as Koza Dereza, Koza Rogataya, Koza Bobataya and Cosa Nostra constantly terrorize people. Thirdly, goats are stupid. They do not understand or appreciate their happiness.
One grandmother loved her little gray goat very much. And he took it and left her. And it would be good to go to another grandmother, otherwise straight into the forest! Where all that was left of him soon were his horns and legs! This goatish stupidity is an innate property of their breed. Even pigs are smarter than goats.
There are cases in history where seven kids ended up in the belly of a wolf, while three little pigs almost made soup out of the wolf themselves!
The stupidity of goats knows no bounds. It is no coincidence that they were chosen as scapegoats.
All goats have horns. Some goats stopped being ashamed of this and began to call themselves capricorns.
Further. Goats are ungrateful. Anyone who has ever allowed them into their garden knows this. Goats will trample all your greens, but will never give you milk. Goats like to be confused with devils, but in reality they are goats! In sports they are only good for jumping over, on the stage they all have goat voices...
What kind of goat, generally speaking, came up with the idea of ​​naming a year after goats?
There is, however, one exception. This is the Silver Hoof, who gallops through the mountains and carves gems with one left hand. But the exception only confirms the rule.
Ladies and gentlemen! You have to be a goat to raise a toast to goats on this festive evening. Therefore, I propose to drink to the New Year! May the New Year, despite its name, May we encounter fewer assholes on our path in life and in the mirror!

Coming soon New Year 2015 and we decided to collect for you in one place a selection of funny videos and jokes with the symbols of the coming year - goats, sheep, rams, goats and funny kids. All videos can be watched online and without registration. Well, let's not waste time, suggesting that we immediately start watching New Year's jokes.

Let's start with a video about an angry Australian ram: Angry ram attacks motorcyclist

Angry ram finds 2 more victims

Angry ram takes down a drone… and its owner)

Angry ram vs rider - He’s back & angrier than ever. In the video, the camera is mounted on the back of the ram, which makes it even more interesting.

Angry Ram takes on a 6 ton digger

Angry Ram is training, watch until the end (Angry Ram destroys a punching bag)

And here is an example of what the hands of a master can do with such a formidable animal. Grooming of an evil ram. Angry Ram gets a haircut then Attacks the Cameraman

As you probably already guessed, Evil Ram is quite popular and even has his own YouTube channel and Facebook page.

The cycle of sheep in nature. In this video you can see a flock of much less evil, but terribly stupid sheep. A must watch joke.

And who is the ram after this? The guy decided to butt the ram and did.

Borya, stop it! angry and stubborn Ram!!

Cool! Like a Georgian ram gored!

Angry sheep and ram.

In Kharkov, a sheep escaped from a restaurant.

It's time to finish with the sheep, let's move on to funny videos with goats.

Goats Yelling Like Humans - Goats scream like people, best moments

A talkative goat, unlike a ram, is ready to enter into a discussion before using force. True, you might be spit on at the same time.

Laughing goat in the village

The stubborn goat is hammering the car!

Somewhere in India, a goat attacks the townspeople. Angry Billy Goat Terrorizes Town

A parkour goat and three lazy fat idols.

Mischievous little goat and kitten. Who will win:

Crazy video: Goats have fun balancing on a steel plate. Chèvres en équilibre — goats balancing on a flexible steel ribbon

Well, in conclusion: A goat rides a man who rides a bicycle. Goat riding a guy riding a bike

Jokes about sheep and rams, goats and goats

* * *
If a person encounters solid Goats and Sheep throughout his life, most likely he is just a Ram himself!!!

* * *
“I took my daughter to the village and showed her the goat.”
- For what?
- Well, so that she knows what a real goat he is! Otherwise, she only imagines him from her mother’s words...

* * *
A steep-horned ram with a bell walks ahead of the herd. The sheep are confident that he knows where he is leading them. And the ram just wants to be in front - not dusty and a good choice of grass!

* * *
Seven kids beat a wolf with their hooves. He yells:
- What are you doing, wolves?!
- Shut up, asshole!

* * *
Every stupid sheep dreams of his... eternal...

* * *
- What does the proverb “And the wolves are fed, and the sheep are safe” mean?
- This means that the wolves ate the shepherd and the dog.

* * *
A 3-year-old girl, after listening to the fairy tale “The Wolf and the Seven Little Goats,” asked:
-Where was daddy the goat?
And really where?!

* * *
The Wolf came to the goat's house and sang:
- Little kids, kids, open up, open up, your mother has come and brought milk!
- What are you driving, you goat? She went out for beer!

* * *
Conversation in the village of two neighbors:
- Why is your goat hornless?
- And our goat is honest!

* * *
The sheep in the backyard of the kebab shop overheard the order and, if anything happened, hid in the pigsty.

* * *
- Opanas, yesterday Petro went hunting - he shot a sheep instead of a hare.
- Why should we be surprised, he only got bad marks in zoology at school!

* * *
Since childhood, I dreamed of seeing three animals: Sidorov’s goat, Yoshi’s cat and the fly plaque.

* * *
The field is not measured, the sheep are not counted, the shepherd is horned...
- Damn, what is he doing out in the pasture? And why did you leave your wife at home?!

* * *
- Listen, Abram! If you let your goat out into the street again, I will kill him!
- What's the matter, Chaim? Why is he bothering you?
- He runs under my windows all the time and shouts:
- KGB—e! KGB—e!

* * *
- From a black sheep - even a tuft of wool! - the wife said every time
honest cop, lighting a gas stove with a stun gun.

* * *
- Do you know that it takes three sheep to knit a sweater?
- Yes? And my wife did it alone!

* * *
- Goat, why are your eyes so sad?
- Because my husband is a goat.

* * *
One friend complains to another:
- I'm tired of this progress! Synthetic seasonings, artificial flavors, soy meat! It's impossible to eat! Yesterday he came to the kebab shop and forced me to slaughter and roast a sheep...
- Well? - It turned out to be cloned!!!

* * *
The new Russian is walking a goat, a policeman comes up to him and says:
- Don’t you know that you can’t walk pets in the city???
The New Russian answers:
- There are pigeons flying around too, shitting everywhere and nothing!
The policeman, hesitating a little, says:
- You understand, a dove is a symbol of peace!
New Russian:
- I’m responsible for the market, my little goat doesn’t want war either!

* * *
- How do sheep differ from each other?
- Smart sheep are sheared, stupid ones are slaughtered.

* * *
An Australian farmer bought a Rolls-Royce for crazy money.
- Well, how's the car? - They ask him.
“Great,” he replies. - Especially the glass that separates me from the cabin at the back.
- Well, what's special about that?
- Don’t tell me, now the sheep don’t interfere with my driving.

* * *
- What do you do when you can’t sleep?
- I count sheep...
- Ha! and I'm ex-girlfriends!
- That's what I meant.

* * *
A hare walks through the forest and sees a sheep crying.
- Who hurt you? Yes, I’ll tear his jaws apart now!
- The wolf is fighting!
- A-a-a-a, a wolf... Well, our little gray one will not offend in vain.

* * *
You’re lucky to have me,” says the wolf to the trembling sheep. - Just imagine,
what would have happened to you if you had been caught not by me, but by our entire flock!..